1. Have a song, or a CD, that helps you vent your frustration. I find something with a female lead singer and a bit of screaming really helps: Yeah Yeah Yeahs are good, as is Souxsie and Banshees, or X-Ray Spex. Out-of-tune screeching and throwing my body round in violent contortionist 'dance moves' really does make me feel better, although it probably doesn't do the same for the poor sods I live with.
2. Know other feminists you can call on for a good ol'-fashioned rant. Note: these can be men. Not all men are arseholes and some will well and truly relish the opportunity to vent about the members of the species letting the team down. Whoever they are, they need to be people to whom you don't have to explain the definition of feminism to, or just why ads that use scantily clad women to sell power tools are so freaking offensive. They just GET it.
3. Print out a picture of your favourite anti-feminist and stick it on the wall. 'Favourite anti-feminist' may be an oxymoron, but you know what I mean: the person who really, really pisses you off even if they don't say anything, because you know they're thinking it. I also find it very therapeutic to photoshop a target over their face. This makes it easy for you to direct a good stink-eye, some furious cursing or even sharp objects in the right direction, rather than aiming them at your colleagues, family members or housemates. I still have a picture on my corkboard of Guy Barnett, a former Tasmanian senator who tried - unsuccessfully - to remove the Medicare rebate for second trimester abortions back in 2008. You may like to choose Bob Ellis, or Tony Abbott, or pretty much anyone who's ever won an Ernie.
4. Have some heroines. I have plenty. I had such a girl crush on Natasha Stott Despoja when I was about fourteen I think my parents were surprised when I turned out to be heterosexual. And it wasn't because she was a hot babe. It was because she was a woman of conviction who wasn't putting up with any crap from people who thought she couldn't succeed because she was young AND a woman. Plus she wore Doc Martens into parliament. Kick-arse. Heroines don't even have to be real women - Uma Thurman's character from the Kill Bill movies is awesomely rad, as is Sigourney Weaver's Ellen Ripley in the Alien films and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. Just have someone you can channel when you're in a tough spot. Although the samurai sword or cruciatus curse is probably not a good idea.
5. Learn how to switch off. This is really important, or you'll never even be able to watch Neighbours again without getting frustrated at the outdated gender stereotypes of the characters and the fact that the girls all wear really short school skirts and Karl is a whiny misogynist jerk. You can't be 'on' all the time, or you'll end up burning out faster than Matthew Newton loses his temper. Which leads to my next point:
6. Never, EVER read the comments on mainstream news websites if the story is anything to do with women. Honestly. This is advice that I often ignore myself, and trust me it needs copious amounts of wine to fix. Your liver will thank you if you just abstain from the comments.
7. Find an outlet for your feminism, or as the punters call it, your man-hating-hairy-lesbian-separatist-utopian-fantasy. Seriously, you can't bottle this shit up. The world needs it. Find a feminist community organisation to volunteer with - they all run on the smell of an oily rag, they'll be thrilled to see you walk through the door - or join a collective, or start a blog or write for an existing one (hint hint). This saves you having to rant at your boyfriend/sister/housemate because you can share your feminist wisdom with the WORLD instead.
8. Make a paper hat or a sign for your desk that says 'Grumpy Feminist' and bring it out when you're having a grumpy-feminist kinda day. Let this be a warning to colleagues that you are not to be trifled with and don't actually give a fuck about what Spida Everitt really meant or who Bolt just offended while championing free speech and the rights of poor downtrodden nationally-syndicated rich white men. Depending on your workplace, you may like to decorate this hat or sign with some flowers or cross-stitch or casserole recipes to make your colleagues feel more comfortable.
9. Just find a husband and give up this whole 'feminism' thing. You'll be much happier.
Image taken from Jeremy Brooks flickr account under creative commons licence
